Little Thing of Happiness

Your furry little face. The way you look at me.
How you beg for attention- like you are starving for it.
When I used to walk in from a long day at work, the way you met me at the door. Walked me in and our evening began. You waited for me all day and I missed you terribly. We had our routine after work. Now my days are consumed with phone calls from medical professionals, visions of you checking on me to see me as I am now. Do you honestly know what is happening? I don’t think you can handle the weight of it.

I keep myself focused on this newness. I try to shelter you and your brother from it. Your human mom knows more than you ever will. More than you can even comprehend. But I want you to know. I want you to know all of my darkness, my light, my love. I want you to feel what I feel without feeling what I feel.

How can you impart this magnitude on a furry little being? Why would I want to? What would this accomplish? It would bring me closer to you. Is that selfish of me? Am I mental for feeling this way? I love my boys, I just want them to know.