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“Dear Tumor, the eviction notice was taped to your door weeks ago. You’re squatting now. But I’ve got 9 more blasts of cosmic justice coming for you.”I’ve got nine radiation sessions left. Single digits. Like a countdown to… what exactly? Not the end. Not a cure. Just the end of one chapter where a giant machine points invisible death rays at my skull and everyone pretends that’s totally normal.

By now, I know the drill. The table. The mask. The whirring sound like a microwave making popcorn in hell. Twenty-one zaps down, and somehow I still have enough brain cells left to write this post. Or at least I think I do—if I start repeating myself or talking about raccoons, assume that was the frontal lobe short-circuiting.

People say radiation is cumulative. That’s true. Not just the fatigue or the skin stuff or the weird taste in my mouth that screams “chewed battery,” but emotionally too. Each session is like a tick mark on the wall. Survival math.

And now? Nine zaps to go.

It should feel like progress. And it does—mostly. But there’s something else too. A weird grief? A fear of the routine ending? Radiation sucks, but it’s also been something. A rhythm. A purpose. An enemy you can name and schedule around. When it’s done, what fills that space?

Nine zaps. Then I ring a bell I never asked to ring. Then I keep going.

Because that’s what this is. Not the end. Just the next unknown.

Let’s go, Zap 22. I’m ready.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

I can’t believe I only have ten sessions left of my radiation therapy! It’s been a journey for sure. The staff at the treatment center have been so nice. I can’t wait to ring the bell on my last treatment day. I’m hopeful Rudy is shrinking and stabilizing. I don’t know what I will do after the sessions are complete. I know I will have some free time on my hands. I mean it’s only about an hour a day. I’m sure my chemo will continue. But the radiation sessions will cease. July 8th, my last session. I’m ecstatic. I’m hopeful. I’m happy. Two weeks tomorrow and it’s finished!

We arrived early today. The valet sees us pull up and grabs the chair. We roll in and check in. I get my armband ID and wait for the tech to bring me back. They bring me to a holding area while I wait my turn. One of the medical assistants had a birthday and there were balloons. It was a pleasant sight to see. A tech brings me back and snaps me in. The mask is a familiar feeling now. I’m used to the radiation setting. They give me a behind the knee pillow and a round foam handle. I’m snapped in with the mask. It’s tight but a comfortable tight. I close my eyes and listen for the buzz. It’s over. I hear the techs come in and unsnap me. Back home we go.

I think I’m on the homestretch now. I hope the next couple of weeks are easy to manage. It’s not been too bad so far. Just the wobbly wobbly and the double vision. Now that my vision is back it’s been much better to get around.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

Sunday is usually our meal prep day for breakfasts. I had a bagel today. It was yummy: an Asiago bagel with some honey pecan cream cheese. We made a lot of egg bites last weekend, so we didn’t have to today. Instead, I got up and followed my normal morning routine. Then we watched a documentary on the Long Island Serial Killer. I want to ask my brother-in-law about this as he lives in Long Island. Search for Gilgo Beach on Peacock; it was fantastic.

I placed a grocery order and meal-prepped some ground beef for the week. Tonight we will have taco boats and rice with salad. The other half I will use for a tortellini bake like a couple of weeks ago; last time I used rotisserie chicken for it, and my wife said it would be good with beef. So this week we will try it with beef.

I’ve been a little dizzy today. I sat at the stove to cook tonight. Walmart is crazy cheap on beef. I got 2 pounds of it and cooked it. I saved some in a bag for tomorrow and mixed up some Spanish rice and taco seasoning for tonight. It’s nice not having to go to radiation on the weekends. It’s a nice break. Back at it tomorrow, though. I’d like to go out for a sundae later, but I’m not sure if this rain will hold off.

My right leg usually twitches like a focal seizure. It hasn’t been doing that today. I’m thankful that it hasn’t twitched. I hate when it does. A nurse on my care team said to get a video of it to show them. How can you video something so random? I don’t know when it’s going to twitch. It’s not like I can film it or ask my leg to rewind. My mom has said she notices it when I nap. Am I supposed to just sit here with my phone ready? That’s ridiculous.

Not much to report today. Just some hydration, cooking, and streaming. It was a good, quiet Sunday with my wife. We didn’t have much to do today. We rested and watched the documentary. Chip was extra needy today. He required a lot of pets and rubs. He snuggled a bit, and I loved every minute. Usually, these Bengal Brats are very independent and won’t snuggle. He snuggled way more as a baby when I would take him with me to work. I’m loving his neediness today.

I am in such need of a haircut. I’ve been holding off to see if I lose hair from the chemo and radiation. I’m in a weird spot with it because I dont want to waste the money on a cut if it falls out but at the same time, it hasn’t happened yet. It’s been 3 months since my last haircut. I don’t mind the longer hair but I hate it growing over my ears. My sideburns are thick and bushy. I can’t stand it. Do I want to shave my head? Not a chance. But I also feel like it would be better in the long run to shave it down to buy some time between cuts.

Random thoughts come in and out. These are just a few today.
Thank you for stopping by!

~Bruce

Today is Saturday; it’s my first day with some nerve pain. My knee is killing me. I didn’t do anything to it; it just hurts today. I can only think it is from nerve pain, maybe a slight side effect.

Chip let us sleep in until almost 7 am today. Thank you, bud. We watched Jaws last night for the 50th anniversary of the film. Personally, I like Jaws 2 better. These films are what keep me from swimming in natural bodies of water. Ever since I was a kid, I have been afraid of the water. It probably stems from when my dad “taught” me to swim by tossing me into a lake in Mississippi when I was about 3 years old. Very traumatizing. He said one day, “let’s learn to swim, son,” then I was tossed in. When I got back with my mom, she took us to the YMCA for swim lessons. Needless to say, I was terrified. I cried and cried at the edge of the pool. Even blowing bubbles made me cry. I was holding on to the edge of the pool, kicking in place. So terrifying. I can swim now. I don’t have the fear I had when I was a child. But I certainly won’t go in any ocean, beach, or lake. Not happening.

I’m excited to try a new flavor pack of Nectar Hydration. It was delivered this morning, early. I took my chemo meds today and drank plenty of water. Chip is going to the vet for his monthly injection. He has a luxating patella; his knee pops out of the socket when he walks. My baby is only 4 and has had this issue since he was 1. Poor thing. It doesn’t affect him; he still runs like a maniac throughout the house and on his cat wheel. He loves his wheel.

I tried some new cereal today: Apple Jack flavored donut holes. Pretty good. I had some egg bites also this morning.

I’m saddened by the passing of celebrity chef Anne Burrell. I hate hearing the early reports from TMZ. I wish I could tune it out. Let her family process their loss. Why do they always have to push stories out for clicks? What’s the point in being first to report tragedy? We are all going through our own issues. Let them have time to process. My circumstance is different, but I couldn’t imagine myself in others’ shoes.

It’s going to be a good day today. It’s forecasted to be extra hot near 100 degrees. Afternoon showers may bring the temps down. Until then I’m watching Food Network. I like Pioneer Woman and Girl Meets Farm. The Kitchen is a favorite also. My Saturday morning is full. I wish I could go with my wife to Chip’s appointment but I’d just sit in the car as I am too wobbly to go in to the vet office. Maybe we will go for an ice cream sundae later or tomorrow. It’s nice to venture out to combat the cabin fever.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

It’s Friday then! Saturday, Sunday what!
Rainy and muggy this afternoon. I had my radiation appointment this morning. This was 19 out of 30! 11 to go. I am excited to be at this point. Not much to report today. I had breakfast, meds, radiation, and home again. For lunch this afternoon, I had a juicy peach and a plum. Yummy snacks.

I placed a Walmart order and the driver took forever. It was supposed to be delivered at 1 pm and did not show up until nearly 3 pm. I tracked and watched as he sat in the Taco Bell lot for like 20+ minutes. I would not have minded, but I had some ice cream and perishables in the order. The whole time I’m thinking you better love those tacos, guy. He also gave us two bags we didn’t order: some bagels and bread, along with 3 bundt cakes and 2 cake pop containers. I guess we keep them; I’ve never had this happen before. I’ve had missing items but not extra.

It’s pouring rain here this afternoon. Afternoon showers in Florida aren’t new, but this is a lot of rain for us. Mostly it’s been raining overnight here. Today is a typical FL day. Sunny morning and dark afternoon. I’m glad it’s soaking here though; we’ve needed the rain for a while. The lakes and ponds are so low.

I’m happy to report my vision is restored. Not seeing double anymore is such a blessing. I still have the wobbliness and unsteadiness on my feet. It takes me a moment to get up and start walking. Once I am though, I can go at a snail’s pace to get around the house or treatment center. This morning was a bit of a challenge walking to the bathroom. It took me a few extra moments to get my bearings. I stumbled a bit, but was okay. Walking out to my Jeep was a bit of a struggle today. Just weak and wobbly. I take my time and go one step at a time.

The time tech was there today. She must’ve seen that we have been early all week. Not one mention of us being on time or anything. Thanks. I hope you realize we try our best to get there, and it is difficult to do on certain days. But guess what time tech, you won’t ever see us “late” again.

One day at a time. Faith, Family, and Love.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

We arrived early to radiation. It was sunny and hot. 8 AM and it’s this hot out. It’s going to be a brutal summer. Just keep the rain away while I’m out, please. Traffic was a breeze. Riding in Rooster was awesome. I got a couple of Jeep Waves on the way. I love the community of driving and owning a Jeep. We get ducked also. I’ve not been a witness to the ducking, but I see the results on my dash.

We arrive, and the valet lady is there. When she sees our Jeep, she automatically checks us in and gets me a wheelchair. We then head in. They were using an alternate check-in desk after the fire. Today was back to normal. They call my wife a feisty redhead. The receptionists love her. While waiting for the tech to bring us back, you see your waiting room friends—people who are also there for treatment and their caregivers. This older lady saw me and waved. Her husband is there for treatment. She said to him, “There’s our friend.” I wave and smile. This man is nice. He asked me what I was in for, what type of cancer I have, etc. He called me “son.” He said I was too young to be going through this. I said cancer knows no age. We are here.

The tech comes out and takes a few people before me as they’re scheduled. One patient’s appointment was moved without his knowledge. They pushed him to 7:30 AM. It was 8:25 at this point. Poor guy. He was older and probably couldn’t navigate his patient portal. They were giving him the business because he was late. I wanted to stick up for him, but I held station.

Finally, it was my turn. The tech brings me back, loads me up on the table, and snaps me in with the mask. They pull me up, down, left, and right. I say “A, B, A, B, Start,” and my tech laughs. Old Nintendo cheat code reference. Zapping commences and is quick. Once I hear the buzzing of the machine, I know I have about 90 seconds left of the treatment.

Today I’m feeling nostalgic, so I am going to have a TNG day. I started with a favorite episode of mine called “Sins of the Father.” Worf is brought back to the homeworld Kronos to defend his father’s actions at Khitomer. Being accused of treason, Mogh supposedly gave the Romulans defense access codes. This was not so.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

Today marks my halfway point with radiation therapy. I have 15 left to go. My nurse today said the fatigue could increase being this far along. I hope not. I am already so tired each day. I couldn’t imagine being any more tired.

The doctor’s appointment today was a breeze. I asked about taking supplements and the doctor said to wait until at least 4 weeks after the last treatment. He was in and out. Quick visit with him. The nurse visit was longer.

Kind of uneventful today. The egg bite updated recipe was delicious. Very cheesy, and I could taste the hot sauce.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

The time tech was there today. She made no mention of me or time at all. Nor should she have. My mom came up. She comes Tuesday and Wednesday. I asked the manager at the treatment center to move my blood work appointments closer to my treatment appointment. I’ve had no luck calling scheduling myself to move it closer. I figured since I had an in with the manager now, due to last week’s debacle, it would be fine. All future blood work appointments are now closer to my radiation therapy appointment, not at 12:45 as previously scheduled. Since I’m ride dependent still, it makes no sense to go and come back hours apart. I explained this multiple times to the scheduler, and they didn’t give two you-know-whats.

So I did my radiation with no problem. The time tech assisted my regular tech. The zapping was easy and fast. I saw my favorite phlebotomist today. She brought me right up for the blood draw. She’s so nice. I enjoy seeing most of the staff there, not the time tech. I’m a nice guy; I treat people how I’d like to be treated. It’s just something that was instilled in me at a young age. It takes you much farther than gruffness and rudeness.

We got done and went to the pharmacy. Last night, I was filling my medication organizer and noticed I was low on my anti-nausea meds. I requested the refill for today, and it was done. I asked Mom to take me, and she did. I had to order some Senokot from Amazon. It was delivered today. Then we came home and watched a movie on Netflix. It was good, Havoc. I know my wife would not enjoy it, so I watched it with Mom today. Then we watched American Primeval, also on Netflix. Very good series.

Tomorrow is more radiation and a doctor appointment to track progress and answer questions. I need to ask about supplements I can take during radiation, if I’m allowed to, and if it will interact with treatment, etc. I’ve heard conflicting answers online, so it’s better to go straight to the source for the answers.

The boys stayed away all day today. Sometimes they like checking on me when my mom is here. Today was not one of those days. They got kisses from their Gammie (my mom), but then they stayed in the front of the house all day.

I forgot to mention, the time tech sounded terrible today. Maybe she got me sick with this sinus infection. Shouldn’t she be home away from immunocompromised patients? Hmm. I wonder.

Stay safe everyone! Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

4 weeks of zapping. I am happy to say the side effects I have read about have been minimal for me. I have not had any loss of appetite, no hair loss, and no nausea. I am stoked.

My alarm didn’t go off today, not sure why. I set it for 5 am. I got up around 3 to go to the bathroom. I went back to bed and checked my phone. I drifted off, and my wife was waking me up around 5:10 am. I thought it was still around 3.
Not to worry, I got up with plenty of time to get ready. Bathed and shaved, got dressed, and made breakfast. I took my meds around 5:30 am. I like to eat a banana before my egg bite breakfast. Then I take my meds, then I eat the rest of my breakfast and watch a bit of local news.

We leave early to appease the mean tech who told me in so many words to be there early. We left at 7:50 or so. We got there early as requested. Since the fire, there have been changes to protocols at the treatment center. I no longer check in at the check-in desk. We walk right through and go to a secondary waiting area. I check in and get my ID bracelet and fall risk bracelet. The mean tech was nowhere in sight. I wanted to point her out to my wife and be like, “Look, that’s the meany.” No such luck. My normal tech comes out and gets a guy ahead of me. Guess what? They are running behind a few minutes. We were on time and early! Tech says, “Mr. McLarty, we will be with you after this patient.” Ok guy, see you soon. Zapping takes about 5-7 minutes. My view of the ceiling is below. It’s pretty cool. It’s just a light cover, but it gives a nice picture to look at while you’re getting the radiation zapping.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there.
The boys let us sleep till 6:40 am. Thank you, my furry fellas. 7 am would have been much nicer to sleep in, especially since I didn’t get to bed until after 1 am. We were up late watching a great movie, Echo Valley, and a great show, The Better Sister. Both had great writing. I wish Echo Valley had done more with the ending. It kind of dropped off, but it was fantastic. So far, The Better Sister has been great.

We got up and had breakfast. Took my meds. My normal start to the day. We made egg bites today, as is Sunday tradition now. I doubled up the egg whites along with 18 eggs. I need more hot sauce next time; I prefer Cholula. Very cheesy. This made 46 egg bites. We tried one that broke apart when it was in the cooldown tray, so 45 left. We have 2 bites a day each. I wanted a bagel, so for lunch, I toasted an Asiago bagel from Walmart and had some cream cheese on it. Not super healthy, but I didn’t feel like a sandwich today. It was tasty. I got a nice little steam burn on my wrist from making the egg bites.

The last couple of days, I developed a cough with some phlegm. Mainly just in the morning when I wake up. Hopefully, it’s just a side effect from the chemo, etc. I noticed some sinus drainage Friday night at dinner. My nose was a bit runny. Saturday I woke up with the cough. Today wasn’t as bad. My wife has had some symptoms as well—sneezing and sinus issues. I gave her a Nectar pack to try last night. It seemed to help her with hydration and made her feel somewhat better. She found a bag of Liquid IV and had one today. I can’t have my caretaker taken down by sickness. I’m already immune compromised.

Got done with the egg bites and lunch just in time for the pre-race show today. Montreal GP was decent. Finally got to see the two McLarens come together, and Lando was taken out. I’d much prefer Oscar retire from the race to close up the gap in the championship. Max finished P2. Not a bad result. Mercedes 1, 3.

Tomorrow, Monday, back at it again. More radiation zapping. We have to leave at 7:55 am to get there early so the tech doesn’t come down on me too hard. She was feisty telling me about being late. Not really late, but they want us there 15 minutes prior. We got this. I told my mother about it as well. She brings me Tuesday and Wednesday, so she will have to leave her house a few minutes earlier.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce