Making the most of an inoperable situation.

This weekend was filled with cabin fever. Saturday was brutal for it. I really felt the fever. Yesterday we made egg bites for a couple of weeks. It gave me purpose. We had leftover cassoulet. Easy dinner. Dump and bake basically. Last night we ventured out for some ice cream. I had a small sundae with hot fudge and marshmallow topping. It was so yummy—whipped cream, nuts, and a cherry on top.

This morning I got up at 5:30 a.m. I had my alarm set for 5:00 a.m., but I didn’t hear it. I got up, got ready, took my meds, and had breakfast; the egg bites hit! I watched some news.

As we were heading for radiation, I received a phone call but could not answer it fast enough. I saw it was a local number, so I called back immediately. It’s a floor supervisor from the treatment center. He asked if we were at the center yet. We were not; we had just left the house and were about 15 minutes away. He then informed me there was a fire on the second floor, and he was calling all patients to tell them not to come. We made a U-turn and headed back to the house. Radiation-free day today. Yippee! I don’t mind the radiation, but it’s nice not to have to go.

I’m making a meatloaf tonight. I love homemade meatloaf. This is a combination of my Granny’s and my mom’s recipe. I don’t have an egg, so I will substitute some mayo in it. It’s an easy recipe and doesn’t take long. I like squishing the raw meat between my fingers to mix it.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

As long as I have a task to do, I feel like I can power through the cabin fever. Today we made egg bites. I changed the recipe a bit. I added some egg whites and hot sauce. Staying busy kept my mind active. My wife said she could see in my face that I was better today. I felt better doing this task.

I think we will go for a drive in a bit. Maybe take the roof off the Jeep. We haven’t done that yet. It is hot out, though, so maybe not. I’m not too sure yet. It depends on how I feel when I go outside. I know my wife has done so much this weekend, and I don’t want to overwork her or give her too much to do. Driving me around may not be fun for her. It will get me out of the house, though.

Chip wanted to help with the egg bites at the end of preparation. He was on the counter sniffing everything I had out. He was my inspector royale. He made sure the bags were closed and the bacon crumbles were sealed. He’s a good sous chef. If only he could prep for me all the things. Then he’d be my sous hero.

We have developed a system with the egg bites. They make fast, and we prep fast. My wife helps with the cleanup at the end. I get pretty dizzy by the end of it. My job is to prep, season, and blend. I then pour into the molds and get them in the steamer baskets. They take about 12 minutes to fully cook. Not too bad. We made six trays of seven bites each tray. This will be good for a couple of weeks for us for breakfast.

I feel like the chemo messes with my head. I feel a buzzing sensation about an hour after I take the chemo. I get brain fog from it daily, more so lately. There’s an all-encompassing feeling of angst throughout my body after I take the TMZ. It lasts a few hours. It’s gone now, but I feel weird all day from it. I’m down to 6mg of the steroid total per day. I was on 8mg per day. I don’t like the taper, but I need to follow the doctor’s orders. It’s been 3 days since I’ve tapered them down. I think I have leveled out with it. Time will tell. I’m still wobbly. It takes me a moment to get up and start walking. Funny story, every time I get up, I fart. Maybe it’s the meds. I’ve never been gassy like this. I apologize to my wife each time, as I have never farted this much in my life. Farts are funny. They’ll never not be funny. These meds are making my body do weird things.

So today was better with the cabin fever. Today didn’t suck.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

This isn’t a positive, uplifting blog. This just sucks. Sometimes you just get wrapped up in your own world that you feel the walls closing in. Today is one of those days. I have cabin fever today and I can’t do anything about it. I sit in a room with a TV. My cats ignore me. The world around me continues. I would love to go out for a drive, a walk, a run. I can’t. My body won’t let me. The fatigue is killing me. It’s all I can do just to make it to the bathroom to pee. How can I do normal things? I feel like a burden at times. I try to do things on my own. It’s f’n hard. Some days I don’t let it affect me. Today is not one of those days. It is difficult today.

Tonight I made a cassoulet. It was good. It felt good to cook. I was somewhat creative with the dish.
Low points on WW. No carbs. We enjoyed it.

Cabin fever isn’t just boredom; it’s this weird agitated restlessness that can feed anxiety, sadness, and physical fatigue—which I am feeling hard today.

So how can I combat it? Any suggestions? I’m open to anything. I have some adult coloring books and colored pencils. I could do this tonight. I’ve watched movies, shows, news. There’s no Formula 1 this week. Maybe that’s part of it.

I am in my head today. Where else can I be? I take my meds. Sometimes the routine is just boring af. I feel it.

I just saw a commercial for a Peroni. I’d love one. It’s the only beer I used to enjoy. Well, I did like Guinness back in the day. I haven’t had a drink since well before the diagnosis. I was never really a drinker before, but I do enjoy a frosty Peroni.

Tomorrow I will have some tasks to combat the fever. I gotta make egg bites for the week. I’m gonna mix in some egg whites into it to see about a more healthy version.

Chip came in to sit and hang. It’s nice seeing your cat every once in a while. Thanks for hanging with me, Chippy. He can be such a fart face at times.

Thanks for stopping by
~Bruce

I feel accomplished completing the 2nd week of radiation.
My body is adjusting to the routine. The fatigue is the worst side effect so far.

Chemo continues daily. Meds continue. Life continues. I’m happy for Friday. No appointments tomorrow. No radiation. Just meds and routine.

I wish I was in a better state physically. Metallica is playing at Raymond James tonight and tomorrow. First show in Tampa in 15 years. I would love to go to this show. Concerts are a happy place for me. The last one before my diagnosis was Gary Clark Jr. That was one of my favorite shows I’ve ever attended. Music and comedy are my go-tos.

My double vision is much better. I can see down the road more as we are traveling to the treatment center for radiation. No longer am I squinting one eye to watch TV or see normally. Distance vision isn’t 100% yet, but it’s getting there. My vertigo is present. That really has not changed much.

I got my steroid refilled yesterday. I tapered down to 6mg, 2mg 3x daily. I was on 8mg/day. I tapered yesterday to ration out my last few doses; I felt good with it.

I made a TikTok dinner last night. It was easy: Million Dollar Tortellini. The recipe calls for ground beef, but I had some rotisserie chicken breast, cut that up, half a bag of spinach, a small pack of Buitoni tortellini, a jar of Alfredo, a can of pizza sauce as it was pre-seasoned, some pepperoni, and two slices of mozzarella torn into pieces and scattered over the top. I baked it for an hour, covered with foil, at 350 degrees. It was delicious, and surprisingly it was only 5 points on WW. We had a salad with it. I will have a small portion for lunch today.

Tonight is Friday, so we are going to have some Chick-fil-A. My fave.

Thank you for stopping by for an early blog.
~Bruce

Today was a better day. No delays like yesterday. Pretty straightforward. Got up like normal, got ready, ate, took my meds, and read some news. Took my chemo meds and made our way to the appointment. Parked valet, and the attendant kept my Jeep close. I told her that only Tuesdays and Wednesdays we would need it parked. She is very nice and keeps it close on the short days. Thank you.

We arrived at the treatment center desk, and I got checked in. They placed my arm band and a yellow band on me. I got a couple of small waters from the desk person. I like those for my nectar drinks–I need to drink another one after this.

The tech got notified and brought me back. Apparently, they had to replace a couple of parts yesterday. Some poor prostate cancer patient had to reschedule because of the part swap. My appointment yesterday should have been only 15 minutes. It was closer to an hour with the delay. Today was on the shorter side as well: 10 to 12 minutes. I got strapped in and started treatment. All done. On our way back to the valet to collect the Jeep.

We requested and noticed the Jeep was parked right up front. Thank you again, attendant. Driving home was a breeze. Nice conversation and music with my wife. I am waiting on my steroid to be filled. I had to taper down today to make sure I have enough for tomorrow. I think I will try the 6 mg/day dose this week to see how it affects me. We will see. I hope my pharmacy fills it soon so we can get it today.

My wife made me a sandwich last night for today. She’s been writing a little note on the sandwich box, which puts a smile on my face when I see it the next day.

I fell asleep waiting on a Walmart grocery order, and it arrived. It was only outside for about 15 minutes. Not to worry, no perishables in this order. I am tired from the radiation and chemo. The fatigue is hard to deal with. I’m not used to being so tired all the time.

Tomorrow is Friday! Chemo/Radiation and then off for the weekend. Then that’s week 2 complete!

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

All started normally today: wake up, get cleaned up, make breakfast, take meds. All good so far. Mom arrived at a decent time. I was ready to go. We leave and make our way to the treatment center. I get strapped in and we’re underway with the radiation zapping. Or so I thought. They had to recalibrate the machine midway through the blast. That only took 45 minutes. I’m laying there strapped in with the mask, and it seems like forever.

Finally, they say it’s good to go. Some kind of mess up between A24 and A29—whatever that means. All I know is it’s a metallic slide on the spinning thing that goes around my head. He showed me what it was. It was all robots and machinery to me.

Then I met with my Radiation Oncologist. That was a quick 1-2 minute visit. He just asked if we had questions about the treatment so far. Not much really, just said the fatigue was bothering me. He said that’s to be expected. So all in all, it was a good day at the treatment center. I was a bit wobbly laying on the table for some extra time, or the fatigue got me. I was stumbly in the bathroom after the zapping. Then on the way in the house, I was wobbly too. I had to catch myself on the storm door to stabilize. Take it easy, go slow. Don’t rush things. You aren’t the you you once knew.

I had a sandwich for lunch. It was tasty. I had some bean dip with lunch and a donut after. I am hydrating with my Nectar Hydration packs. That really helps. I’ll continue using it. My mom just left to beat the rain. It’s supposed to rain a lot this afternoon. I may nap this afternoon. I’m feeling really tired today. Listen to your body.

I’ve been enjoying Kevin Costner’s The West on the History Channel. It’s been a great docuseries. I can watch it and just fade into the story. I wonder if anyone will get dysentery on the Oregon Trail episode. 🙂

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

They’re the classic “good cop, bad cop” routine—but both are kind of jerks. Still, they’re aimed at one thing: slowing down or shrinking the tumor, ideally knocking it back enough to give you more time and quality of life.

⸻ Radiation • What it is: High-energy beams (often X-rays) targeted right at the tumor site—usually over 6 weeks, 5 days a week. • What it does: Damages the DNA in tumor cells so they can’t keep multiplying. • What you might feel: Fatigue, headaches, possible hair loss (especially in the area being zapped), some skin changes. • What it doesn’t do: Turn you into Spider-Man. Disappointing, I know.

⸻ Chemotherapy • What it is: Usually oral Temozolomide (TMZ) taken daily during radiation, then in cycles afterward (e.g., 5 days on, 23 off). • What it does: Works systemically to stop fast-growing tumor cells from doing their thing. • Side effects: Nausea, fatigue, low blood counts—possibly hair thinning, but less than with other cancers. Everyone reacts differently.

⸻ The Real Stuff: How It Feels

• Emotionally: You’re showing up every day to get zapped and take meds that mess with your insides. It’s exhausting in more ways than one. People might say, “You’re so strong,” but inside, you might feel scared, pissed off, or just plain tired of fighting. That’s human. You’re allowed to hate this.

• Physically: The fatigue can sneak up on you. It’s not just being sleepy—it’s a deep, soul-dragging exhaustion. But some days are better than others. And naps are a perfectly valid lifestyle choice.

• Mentally: “Chemo brain” and radiation fatigue can mess with memory, focus, and word-finding. It’s frustrating—but also, it’s not you being lazy or forgetful. Your brain’s under siege. ⸻ Some Tips That Help (Sometimes) • Keep a routine, but make it gentle.

• Stay hydrated and eat what you can (small, frequent meals help with nausea). • Lean on support—family, friends, pets, or people who get it (whether in person or online). • Ask your care team about anti-nausea meds, fatigue management, and mental health support.

• Bring gallows humor if that’s your style. It doesn’t cure cancer, but it sure helps endure it.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

Good afternoon, I got up today and had breakfast. I watched the news and took my meds. I got ready for the day. I took my chemo meds and made my way to the treatment center. The valet was nice; she kept the Jeep close. We went inside, and they pulled me back for my radiation treatment. The tech had a haircut. I complimented him on it.

Radiation only lasted about 9-10 minutes. We were back on our way to the valet. We collected/requested the Jeep and were on our way home. I had my nectar hydration additive water bottle prior to the treatment. I’ve since had two today. It really does help keep side effects at bay.

I use AnyDesk to dial in to work remotely. This is usually reserved for personal use unless you buy a license. Well, they must be on to me dialing in to a business each day. Last week I was waiting 99 seconds to connect. This week it said 999 seconds. 16 mins! Are you kidding me? I switched to a TeamViewer trial. That’s ridiculous.

I got some remote work done and had lunch. That was just some rotisserie chicken breast and some buffalo sauce. Yummy and zero points on my WW app. Tonight I just tossed in a Kirkland Signature (Costco) lasagna. I hope it’s good. The directions said 375 for 50-55 mins. My convection oven runs differently. I set it for 350 for the same time. I’ll make a salad with it.

That’s about it for the day. Tomorrow, Mom is going to take me to my appointment and bloodwork. Another 8:30 a.m. radiation appointment. Bloodwork is scheduled at 12:45 p.m., but they said just come there directly after.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

Today our neighbor brought some homemade guacamole over. It as delicious. He brought some chips and guac. Then we chatted a bit and he prayed for me. What a nice young man.

We got to skip making the egg bites today. We made so many last week we have enough for this week. It feels like I’m not doing something by not having to make them this week. I feel like I am missing out.

I haven’t had the symptoms like yesterday. The fatigue isn’t prevalent like it was before. The vertigo is there. My double vision isn’t bad. Yesterday was a difficult day for sure.

I got up and watched the pre race today for the Spanish Grand Prix Catalunya. Then it’s lights out and away we go. It was a good race. McLaren obviously topped the sheets with a 1,2 win followed by Ferrari and LeClerc. Max came in 4th. Those papayas are so quick. Max got into some trouble with frustrations at the end.

This afternoon I took a nap while my wife was on the phone with her friend. It was nice and I needed to recharge. One thing I have learned through this process is to listen to my body. If I need a nap, take it. If I need to go slow, slow the f down big boy. Hydration is also key. Nectar hydration packets really do help with symptoms. I have had 3 so far today.

Tomorrow starts a new week. More radiation starting Monday, all week long. Bloodwork and radiation Tuesday. Radiation and Dr. appt Wednesday. More radiation Thursday and Friday. Chemo each day. Hopefully this week will be like last week. Easy peasy.

I am doing my best. It sucks. I’m staying positive. I will attack this head first. We got this.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce

Today was early, Pancake wanted us up. He started banging on the door around 5am. We wanted to sleep til at least 7:30am. Not happening. Chippy woke up and started crying hearing his brother.

I took my morning meds and had some breakfast. I took my Chemo meds a bit later. I have had some fog today. Brain fog. Slight slowing of speech. Just really fatigued today. My double vision is back today. I may have only taken 1 steroid this morning instead of my normal 2. I can’t recall how many I took. I took one at lunch and will take another at dinner.

Chip stayed away most of the day. He came in to eat some breakfast around 4pm. Brat. Pancake ate his Chip’s food today like usual. I took a few naps today. Like I said, the fatigue is strong today. Took me a bit to get motivated to make some lunch and get ready after. I had my lunch early though. Just the motivation wasn’t there.

Again this fatigue is no joke. I am exhausted. I am tired. I am spent.

Thank you for stopping by!
~Bruce