One Day At A Time

I sit here thinking of the week- how daunting it has been…And it’s only Tuesday. I remind myself of things that have passed. Accomplishments I’ve made. Trials and tribulations I have gone through. This too shall pass enters my mind.

Tomorrow will hopefully be less stress induced. I am surrendering my lemon Jeep Grand Cherokee. It has been a long time coming to get rid of this vehicle. I recently purchased a replacement for that vehicle. Had I known of the incoming diagnosis, I may have gone with something a bit less extravagant. But I love this new Gladiator. It’s always been something I wanted. Rooster, the name I gave to my Gladiator has been a dream truck. I love driving it and clearing my mind of what has come to engulf my thoughts. Intrusive thoughts. Bad thoughts. It keeps me happy. My family keeps me happy. My cats keep me happy and stressed lol. This Jeep keeps me happy (H. Ford) I love that advert. I feel it wholeheartedly.

Back to One Day At A Time. I have learned over the past month that I need to take things one day at a time. It allows for my mind to focus. It keeps me somewhat grounded in the face of this new adversity. Focusing on minor details and getting through each day one day at a time keeps me in line. Keeping my faith and positivity up helps so much. In the past I would take for granted the relationships and the compassion I would overlook. Being in this situation helps keep your mind focused on tasks ahead. Sometimes we can overlook the mundane day to day crap life throws at us. We need to fix our thoughts on what is promised. Life has thrown me some lemons and I have made a zero sugar lemonade.

Take what you will from this. I have gotten a lot closer with friends and family through this trying time. I value relationships much more and love more. I see now, how much people, family and friends have come out of the woods to share their love and compassion. It’s truly a blessing wrapped in a pretty f’d up bow. Getting a diagnosis of this magnitude has been so humbling. I don’t think I’d ever change a thing. Sure I’d love to not have a terminal diagnosis but at the same time, it forces you to cherish the relationships you have and will have. I love more, I feel more and I value the little things much more. Small interactions and big ones. They’re all the same to me now. Not a day passes that I don’t think of how much each person in my life, has mattered to me.

Sunday night 3 of my staff sent me a pic from work holding a sign stating they missed me. I miss them all too. In the past, I viewed myself as just their boss. But to know how much I have impressed you with just kindness and respect means the world to me. KO, AO, AB that meant the world to me. It’s the little things like a pic in a text. These things move mountains when you’re faced with your own mortality.

One Day At A Time. Seems cliche, but if you are ever facing uncertainty, a small phrase like this can keep you focused one the days, weeks and months ahead.

Tonight I made a meatloaf (mom’s recipe) green beans and some mashed potatoes. Comfort food at it’s finest. I loved every bit of it. Then we had some carrot cake. I love that stuff.