Author: Bruce McLarty

  • Sent my Chippy to the Vet today

    Today was injection day for Chip. He has a luxating patella. I sent him off with his human mom and grandma as I can’t leave or get around too well at this time. He cried on the way so I’m told. Normally he does fine in the Jeep, but his mommy took her car today. I suppose he’s a bit of a car snob. He also went in his brothers soft carrier rather than his hard shell carrier. He’s very regimented and used to a certain way of life. With this new normal we are all navigating, I am sure he wasn’t feeling up to his normal self venturing out today, especially not having daddy by his side.

    While the girls were out I just relaxed and did some chair exercises. Squeezing my glutes, up downs, walking around my room etc. Just some minor strenghtening. I saw an advert for some skecher slip ins grippy shoes. They should arrive tomorrow. They look like old man shoes but look comfy and should allow me to get around a bit safer. My eyes are coming back to normal, still seeing double but they aren’t trailing off like they were the last week. It’s been a week since my biopsy and I am still dealing with the after effects of it. More vertigo, more double vision. The eye patch is definitely helping with the dilopia. But it makes my right eye so tired.

    Not much else to report today. I made some Costco stuffed peppers and fresh green beans for dinner, that was yummy. We will have some leftovers the next couple days from that meal. It makes life simple not having to prepare too much and it was lower points on my WW app. Although I do miss my cooking. Tomorrow I will attempt and nail the egg bites. I watched a few TikTok videos on recipes for them today. My stepson checked in on me today via facetime. It’s always nice to chat with him. I was very tired during the call though. I get so exhausted lately just doing small things. I remind myself I am not invincible and just take my time with things. I have such a great support system here that it makes it so easy to stay focused on the day, one day at a time.

    Thank you for taking the time to read about my day. I appreciate it so much. Continued love and prayers are always welcomed.

  • Another PT Appointment Today

    Today I got up around 5:30am and I started my morning with some breakfast and coffee. I read some daily devotion this morning. It was a good start to my day.

    It’s my mom’s bday today so she came up and hung out for a bit til the PT got here this afternoon. Very nice morning. We had lunch and conversed a bit. My wife FaceTimed from work to send her some birthday well wishes. Mom helped me reset my internet as we have had connectivity issues with slow speeds etc. Technology can be so annoying when it doesn’t work as you need it to.

    I worked a bit with some invoices as usual. I spoke with my assistant a bit to get a rundown of how things are going at the store during my remote absence. Biz is slow like anywhere these days. Tarriffs- yuck.

    PT came around 3:15 and was here for about half an hour. He gave me more seated and standing exercises to gain my balance and strengthen my legs. The boozy woozies are killing me. The pirate patch helps so much. I’m so thankful I got this under some control and I’m not seeing double as bad. Long as I wear the patch I have normal vision.

    The cats were very inquisitive as to who this PT was and what he was doing to their daddy. Pancake, the big one, licked his arm and stayed close by while I did some kitchen exercises.

    Once the PT left Chippy, my youngest cat, was all over me. Chip was trying to login to the guys work laptop but couldn’t crack the code. He’s not that tech savvy. But he definitely left his mark lol. The things we take for granted walking, seeing straight, trivial things. I wish I could go back and be normal again. I’m navigating this new normal and excelling at it. These small exercises really knock me out.

    Last night I chatted with a friend of my wife’s on messenger. She told me some of her struggles battling cancer and gave some pointers about keeping faith and positivity up. Family, faith and love keeps you going and I am finding this is so true. I often tell those close to me how I appreciate everything that is done for me and how I feel more of a closenesss with them. I hope I don’t sound like a broken record to those who hear me say these things. It’s so easy to take people and things for granted. Don’t fall in that hole. It’s a deep and dark place to be.

    I think I’m going to discontinue the pain meds as I’m not feeling any pain any longer. I don’t want to become dependent on them and I worry about constipation while taking them. Next week I have an MRI scheduled Tuesday morning and two PT appts, 1 OT appt and Friday next week will have a Dr P Neuro Oncology appt followed by my post biopsy Dr L Neuro Surgeon appt to hopefully remove my stitches. Maybe the pathology report will be back by then so I can start my chemo and radiation therapy soon.

    Mom is going to make a meal for us next week sometime. She said she’d surprise me with it one day next week. It helps a lot when I don’t have to worry about what to prepare or have prepared for me. I used to be the main cook for myself and my wife. This weekend I will dig into meal prep for breakfast as stated in yesterday’s post. I’m excited to try a new recipe. Like I said, it’s little things like this that keep me going. I love cooking and being in the kitchen, it’s a happy place for me. I can’t stand not being my normal creative self in the kitchen.

    Tomorrow is injection day for Chip, he has a luxating patella. I sure hope his fav vet tech is there tomorrow because he responds so well to her. He has his favs as we all do. Plus I think she likes seeing him on his injection day. I’m not sure how much the shots help him because he runs through the house like a banshee whether he has it or not. The knee doesn’t really bother him as much as it does us seeing it pop out. He acts like it doesn’t effect him at all. He goes on his wheel as fast as he can and runs away from it. But what do I know, I’m no veteranarian. Thankfully the pet insurance helps out with the cost of the injection and the daily supplement and monthly meds he takes.

    I often remind myself to take it easy and slow. Nothing is a race anymore and I won’t get anywhere any faster forcing myself to rush around plus it’s not all that safe.

    The steroids are no joke. It makes me so hungry. I don’t want to gain weight but I can see/feel myself gain a few lbs.

    I need to finish the book I started. I may read til my wife gets home.

    Another fine day today. Tonight is Friday night, so chicken sandwiches and fries! (maybe I should have a salad instead but where’s the fun in that?) I love my Friday night cheat night meal.

  • Physical Therapy today.

    This morning I got up early as to not make my wife late for work again. She helps me so much in the morning before leaving for work. It’s a process for both of us. I had my usual breakfast, 2 egg bites, a banana and some coffee. It was delicious. I watch the news then on to my morning nostalgia. Andy Griffith show and MASH followed by some work and then Bonanza. I really enjoy these old shows. It gives me a sense of peace.

    A call came in and it was one of my physical therapists. He called to see if he could head over and I agreed it was a good time to come. He gave me some home exercises to do to strengthen and vision and my legs etc. Leg lifts, stand up, sit down, gain balance. Leg extensions, kick outs to the side. More and more. Use the kitchen island and sink to maintain balance and grasp if I feel wobbly. To a “normal person” these exercises are easy. To someone in my position it was difficult and exhausting. I nailed it. He said I was doing great and had a great outlook on this new normal.

    I’m trying my best to maintain that positive mindset and not feel down. I’ve been trying to do most things for myself. Certain things and limitations I find are not ideal to do on my own. I accept it and allow for help to be given. It can be hard just to walk with a cane and carry things with the other hand especially battling with the balance issues.

    Today I got my lunch out of the fridge which my wife prepared for me last night, a delicious pb&j, on my own and carried it into my tv/cat room. Small things I know, but it made me feel accomplished to do it on my own. I had a snack after lunch a sugar free candy and some werthers. I FaceTimed with my mother a bit today. She told me she was going to work in her garden. That sounded fun to me.

    I’ve recently made myself a Pirate, Arrrrgh! The eye patch helps so much with the dilopia, double visions. Hopefully this will dissipate soon and I won’t need the patch, not that I mind wearing it. Chippy, my youngest bengal cat still gives me a stink eye look when he sees me wearing a patch over my eye. He doesn’t trust it. I can only imagine him thinking “that’s not my daddy.” Every time I go into the kitchen the older Bengal, Pancake, swarms me for pets and goes for my cane to knock it down by rubbing his face on it and “kissing” it. I tell them to be careful as to not knock me over or get in my way. They just want their normal reality back. I can’t blame them, I do too.

    I found 3 Amigos on tv this afternoon and took a small nap “watching” it. I received a Walmart delivery today I need to put together. A shower transfer bench. I’ll work on that in a bit. Bathing is time consuming. I use Scrubbz no rinse cleaning cloths and use some baby shampoo on my head for the incision site. No issues since the biopsy other than the dilopia and the increased balance issues. Mental has not been affected, thank God. I placed a small Instacart order and my mother in law helped me bring it in and put it away. Just a few things to get me through the week. I’m going to start making my own egg bites this weekend so I can meal prep and save money instead of buying the ready made ones. I found a good recipe knock off on TikTok for the Costco version I enjoy. I can make them myself or with help for pennies on the dollar compared to buying them ready made. Why not?

    All in all another good day. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read about mine. I appreciate you all and find this blog is such a good outlet for me to get things out and explain what’s happening with me.

  • Nice Day With Mom Today.

    My mom came up and hung out with me today. We watched some old shows on tv Andy Griffith and MASH, she made me lunch and we ate. It was nice to watch some nostalgia. Mom brought up some pea soup and made some banana pudding for me and the wife to have tonight. I can’t wait to try it.

    One of my physical therapists called and asked if he could come today instead of tomorrow because he had a cancellation. But time was not on his side for the appointment’s after mine. It would have been nice to have it done today but I understand there wasn’t enough time between appointments to acommodate filling me in. So I will just wait for tomorrow’s appointment. Bummer, but it is what it is. I thought the Occupational Therapist was supposed to come today but she never called last night with a time frame for today. Maybe that’s next week, idk.

    This morning I processed and receieved a few invoices from orders I placed on Monday morning. Got that all done while my mother was here. I am working a bit more slowly these days having the double vision from the biopsy. It takes me a little extra time to process. Normally not too long but it just is a little more difficult using just one eye and wearing an eye patch to combat the double visions.

    Last night I reconnected with a former coworker who has since moved out of state. I told her what had been happening with me over the last few months and she was so supportive and offered lots of sympathy and compassion. Apparently, to her, I am the third person she knows who has since gotten diagnosed with cancer in the last couple months. There’s got to be something going on with this spike increase in the amount of cancer that is happening.

    My medical oncologists office called this evening around 5:30 and said they wanted me to have another MRI which is scheduled for next Tuesday which we already have on the books. They are still waiting for molecular testing to come back with it and they still don’t know what grade my glioma is exactly but that will come over the next couple of days. Just takes time to process this pathology. Dr P got on the phone and talked with me a bit. I asked if they could move the appointment to a more local facility as this one is near an hour away especially with traffic in the morning. I’d much rather stay local as to not have my wife have to drive me so far on that Tuesday morning. Dr P said they’d have the scheduler try but no guarantees to change it. I am fine with that. Lots of waiting going on. I also asked about going on Ivermectin and fenbendazole as I have read different studies on the antiparasitic meds helping with defeating cancer cells. I’ll try anything at this point to battle this disease.

    It was nice to hang with my mom today. Even if we just sit and watch an old show or three. She surprised me with some sugar free candy she got which she knows I love. I haven’t had any yet but certainly will soon. I love the werther’s sugar free caramels. I received a toilet bar system from walmart today to help me up and down off the toilet. I need to put that together. I’m 45 but my bathroom is starting to look that of an octagenarian. These are my new normals. I am getting used to it. Onward and upward as they say. I won’t sit back and let this defeat me. It’s all helping me in the long run.

    One of my former employees suggested a book by
    Viktor E. Frankl Man’s Search For Meaning. I read it halfway over the last day. Very good read. Highly recommend. I will finish it tonight or tomorrow. You can see how in the face of adversity and uncertainty what can drive you to stay focused. Faith, family and relationships.

    When you finally accept this and allow yourself to see what’s happening, it’s amazing what you can do mentally to stay focused.

    I took a nice nap this afternoon after mom left. I was exhausted. All in all it was a good day today. I think my wife made it home now so we can get our evening started with dinner and whatnot. I can’t wait to see her. She has been such a blesssing to me taking care of my needs and wants throughout this time. I know she’s working herself to the bone and I can’t be more appreciative.

    Take care friends.

  • Meeting with an occupational therapist today

    About 4pm an occupational therapist arrived at the house to help me understand my needs and give me some pointers to navigate this new normal. She was very nice and had very helpful tips and tricks to make my life easier around the house while I am recovering. I ordered the wrong type of shower bench and she recommended a transfer bench until I gain more balance. I also ordered a toilet bar set to help me get up off the pot more easily. Very helpful.

    She wanted to see how I would make coffee and prepare my breakfasts and lunches etc. She said I am doing well on my recovery and wanted to see how I type on my computer etc. Was concerned about my double vision but that goes with the scope of the biopsy I had. She said the incision site of the biopsy looks clean and healthy and to continue what I am doing with care to the wound. I told her about this blog and she said that is a healthy outlet to get feelings out and explain to friends and family about what is going on with me.

    My cats were obviously in the way while she was here, as cats mostly are. Of course they left me alone all day until she came by. Now I just have to coordinate some Amazon returns to send back a few items. All in all it was a good day.

    I worked this morning with some reorders for the store. I checked in with my assistant to go over the last few days of recovery with her. She was very considerate of my being on leave. I had a zero sugar pb&j sandwich my wife made for me last night. It was delicious. Especially the zero sugar blackberry jelly. I love that stuff. For breakfast I made some mini quiche yesterday which I cooked extra to have today with a nice cup of coffee. I placed a Costco Instacart order today and had a few things delivered. I am homebound for the next few weeks. Tomorrow Physical Therapy comes and Thursday they come again. Occupational Therapy will be on Wednesdays for the next 4 weeks. She will call me tomorrow night to arrange for a time to arrive. I am so glad I have them in my corner to help me with things I didn’t know about etc. I can’t have a more positive outlook on this recovery than I have. It’s been very eyeopening and good to hear that I am doing well with my recovery.

  • Biopsy was a success

    It’s been a couple days and I’ve been home recouperating and recovering from the biopsy. The biopsy went well so they tell me. We should have some results in 4-5 days. I’ve been having some double vision and unsteadiness walking. I have a cane that is allowing me to get around easier. This is normal according to Dr Google. I have what is called dilopia. Each passing day seems to leave me in a better physical condition. I’ve been doing more on my own, trying not to rely on my family as much with getting around the house. The first day home was a bit trying. My cats have been my little medical assistants checking on me then leaving me to rest. They’ll come in and make sure I’m ok and then they leave.

    It’s Easter Sunday. I sit here reflecting on the past few days and I find myself with a sense of gratitude for my family helping me. My wife has been a rockstar attending to me and my needs. My mom came up and hung out with me yesterday. My in laws have been amazing helping me and just being there with me for support and well wishes. My mom brought up some frozen mini quiche and I had that for breakfast today. It gave me a nice feeling to cook for myself. Little things like just making myself some breakfast help me with self confidence.

    When I was in the hospital for the biopsy procedure, there was this big brother overseer robot in the room… I didn’t appreciate that one bit. In fact I hated the watchful eye over me. I understand the purpose of it but there was zero privacy with it. I couldn’t get out of bed so using the urinal in the room with this thing…I felt like it and whoever was on the other side was watching me. I kept calling it a robot perv lol I had to remind myself multiple times of their code of conduct. I didn’t want to get kicked out of the hospital for my own feelings of being watched. But at the same time, how would you feel if your every move was watched by some faceless being on the otherside of a device? I would then page the nurse to unplug it and remove it from the room when I had to relieve myself. 24/7 monitoring. I told my wife if we had to have a private conversation I would then just text her. It was ANNOYING!

    I flipped this thing off multiple times haha.

    All in all I feel each passing day brings me some more strength and normalcy. I’m finding more confidence each day.

    Today a physical therapist is coming to the house to do what I have no idea. My wife made me laugh when she said PT on Easter Sunday?! Yesterday I placed an Instacart order for some fresh fruits and snacks for the week. I haven’t had any frosted flakes in ages so I figured what the heck why not? I know I’ve gained a few pounds with the steroid meds but I need some comfort foods and I’m excited to have some what we call chunk doggin foods. I feel kinda gross not showering the last couple days but I got some no rinse bath wipes from Amazon til I gain more stability and feel I can safely shower. I also ordered a shower chair to help with this. My sister in law is preparing an Easter dinner and they said they’d bring me a plate over. I do not think it would be wise for me to venture out just yet being so unsturdy on my feet.

    Like I said earlier, my boys have been checking on me intermittenly throughout each day. The little guy, Chip was a bit standoffish at first with the weird hospital smells etc but he has since warmed back up to me and climbs all over me. I love these little furry beasts so much. The big one seems to love knocking my cane over.

    Happy Easter everyone. I’m here and doing well. Just gotta get this vision under control. The last couple days have been trying but I am doing well. I felt like I was in two different bodies at the same time. Today I woke up and felt like I was in just one body. It’s a weird feeling but I’m glad that is over with.

  • There Are No Chance Meetings

    I firmly believe in the power of others. What they bring to you, what they give you in support. Not financial support but with genuine and true supportive conversation and actions.

    While I was turning in my Jeep Grand Cherokee at the dealership today I met a wonderful man we’ll call D.
    People are thrust into your life without you knowing their back story. Without you knowing anything about them. This guy helped me out so many more ways than you’ll ever know. There are no chance meetings. I feel meeting this gentleman was key to my progress with this disease. I saw a post earlier this morning that said God will speak to you today, will you listen? I shared my story with D and he shared his family story with me. I won’t go into the details but it was a meeting I will cherish for a lifetime.

    I was receptive to what was spoken to me. We shared and laughed. I truly feel you can be put into a situation that will mold you for life. This was today. Such positivity and caring from this stranger whom I now call a friend. This guy didn’t have to sit with me but our appointment concluded around 2:15pm. We sat and talked, shared our stories for the next hour. I felt an overwhelming calm when speaking to my new friend. Truly a blessing this guy was to me today. I didn’t think I would ever meet someone like this in today’s appointment turning in a lemon vehicle. It just goes to show you that there are no chance meetings in life. Everything seems to be laid out for you to grasp. It’s all a matter of perspective and if you are receptive to what is ahead of you, it makes the things in the rearview so small.

    I thank God for this meeting today. D you are an amazing individual and I can feel the love and compassion you had towards me going through my new journey. Thank you so much for taking the time to sit and share with me this afternoon. You didn’t have to do that, you could have just done your job and closed it out. I believe the Lord chose our paths to cross and I am so thankful for this interaction. I can only imagine what others have gone through in a similar situation.

    Will you listen? I did and I gained a new friend and an even more open mindset.

    Jeremiah 32;27
    Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for me?

    Be bold in your actions. Stand firm.

  • One Day At A Time

    I sit here thinking of the week- how daunting it has been…And it’s only Tuesday. I remind myself of things that have passed. Accomplishments I’ve made. Trials and tribulations I have gone through. This too shall pass enters my mind.

    Tomorrow will hopefully be less stress induced. I am surrendering my lemon Jeep Grand Cherokee. It has been a long time coming to get rid of this vehicle. I recently purchased a replacement for that vehicle. Had I known of the incoming diagnosis, I may have gone with something a bit less extravagant. But I love this new Gladiator. It’s always been something I wanted. Rooster, the name I gave to my Gladiator has been a dream truck. I love driving it and clearing my mind of what has come to engulf my thoughts. Intrusive thoughts. Bad thoughts. It keeps me happy. My family keeps me happy. My cats keep me happy and stressed lol. This Jeep keeps me happy (H. Ford) I love that advert. I feel it wholeheartedly.

    Back to One Day At A Time. I have learned over the past month that I need to take things one day at a time. It allows for my mind to focus. It keeps me somewhat grounded in the face of this new adversity. Focusing on minor details and getting through each day one day at a time keeps me in line. Keeping my faith and positivity up helps so much. In the past I would take for granted the relationships and the compassion I would overlook. Being in this situation helps keep your mind focused on tasks ahead. Sometimes we can overlook the mundane day to day crap life throws at us. We need to fix our thoughts on what is promised. Life has thrown me some lemons and I have made a zero sugar lemonade.

    Take what you will from this. I have gotten a lot closer with friends and family through this trying time. I value relationships much more and love more. I see now, how much people, family and friends have come out of the woods to share their love and compassion. It’s truly a blessing wrapped in a pretty f’d up bow. Getting a diagnosis of this magnitude has been so humbling. I don’t think I’d ever change a thing. Sure I’d love to not have a terminal diagnosis but at the same time, it forces you to cherish the relationships you have and will have. I love more, I feel more and I value the little things much more. Small interactions and big ones. They’re all the same to me now. Not a day passes that I don’t think of how much each person in my life, has mattered to me.

    Sunday night 3 of my staff sent me a pic from work holding a sign stating they missed me. I miss them all too. In the past, I viewed myself as just their boss. But to know how much I have impressed you with just kindness and respect means the world to me. KO, AO, AB that meant the world to me. It’s the little things like a pic in a text. These things move mountains when you’re faced with your own mortality.

    One Day At A Time. Seems cliche, but if you are ever facing uncertainty, a small phrase like this can keep you focused one the days, weeks and months ahead.

    Tonight I made a meatloaf (mom’s recipe) green beans and some mashed potatoes. Comfort food at it’s finest. I loved every bit of it. Then we had some carrot cake. I love that stuff.

  • Biopsy is a go

    Met with the neuro sugeon yesterday. We were at the Cancer Treatment Center yesterday from 10am – 5pm. Long day, especially with my new normal. Started out with an appointment with the Neuro Surgeon, Dr. L. This time the doctor was much more personable and had a much better bedside manner. He met with the tumor board this past Friday. They decided it was more beneficial to do a surgical biopsy of the tumor. The reward of knowing how much to map out treatment outweighed the risk of the biospy. Of course there are risks associated with any surgical aspect. With a tumor in this location, it is generally not advisable to biopsy as the brainstem feeds a wealth of information down to your other parts. Some of the risks would be brainswelling, loss of swallow control, breathing anomalies, and loss of motorfunction. Many docs got together at the tumor board and discussed my situation and they trust that the biospy could give a better case for chemo/radiation treatment. I will trust their capable hands.

    After the Neuro Surgeon appointment, they sent me for an MRI of my head and neck, to pin point the location of the tumor and with a plan of biopsy. I was asked what I’d like to listen to and I told the MRI tech what he had on was fine. Some oldschool Michael Jackson… However, he did not play it through the headphones. So I just sat there with the constant humming and whirring of the MRI machine. Not to worry, I can just focus beyond this sound and close my eyes. I really have to say the staff and everyone we’ve met thus far at the Treatment Center had been wonderul and nice to us. It is quite comforting to feel this when you are at a place of such magnitude. Once the MRI was done, we had lunch. Hospital food has come a long way in the past few years. I had a great taco salad. So yummy. The girls all had egg salad sandwiches. My wife, mother and mother in law accompanied me to the all day adventure. After lunch, I had an EKG for preoperative testing. After EKG, I had some bloodwork done, more preop testing. Lots of waiting. All in all it was a good day spent with loved ones. Just physically and mentally draining.

    So I go in Thursday for the biopsy. A small hole will be drilled into the base of my skull. The surgeon will then under CT, place a needle biopsy into an exterior location of the tumor and extract some cells. They will then send that off for testing to see what type of cancer cells there are invading my brain space. I’ll be kept overnight for monitoring. Keep sending your positive vibes and prayers. I could use all the love and help I can get. This is not the end, just the beginning.

  • Increased my steroids yesterday

    After it took my pharmacy two days to receive my steroids, I started the increased dosage Saturday. I had trouble sleeping last night. Not so much sleeping but falling asleep. Once I did, I slept thru the night. Normally, since the diagnosis, I take an RSO capsule to aid with falling asleep. The RSO just allows me to drift off into lala land and I fall asleep easily. The steroid just kept my mind active.

    I was on a single dose of 4mg once a day. This new dose is 4mg 3x a day. I’ve not noticed any side effects from the steroid or the increased dosage. I do notice I am no longer getting daily headaches since on it. Bonus I suppose.
    I will take whatever wins I can get thus far. Small wins are wins. I should probably take the stomach med Protonix, but I’ve not noticed any GI distress as of yet.

    Tomorrow I go to the neuro surgeon again for a consult regarding the biopsy the tumor board wants me to get. Kind of a little nervous about that. Not sure what they’ll say. I’ll just take the appointment as it comes- see how it goes. I noticed on my patient portal that they have surgical appointment set for Thursday. I guess it’s a go regardless. It’s on the books.

    This coming week seems like it will be a whirlwind. I have multiple appointments with the oncologists and pt/ot/speech therapy, along with a surgical consult and possible biopsy to be performed Thursday. Friday, if all goes well with the biopsy and I’m not left a vegetable, I have the pt/ot/speech therapy in the morning.

    Friday afternoon I am supposed to surrender my Jeep Grand Cherokee. I recently won a lemon law buy back situation with FCA/Chrysler. Surrender is for 2pm at a local dealership. Both me and my wife have to be there for surrender. This has been a long time coming. I can’t wait to be rid of this lemon vehicle. It’s been sitting in the driveway untagged, un-insured and waiting on them to finalize payment back to me. Lots going on this week and I can’t wait to be done with the car portion. This should allow me more focus on the treatment and not to have the burden of the lemon vehicle just sitting there collecting the pollen that falls this time of year.

    I also received some smoking cessation patches and gum in the mail yesterday. I quit smoking cigs back in 2012 but started vaping then. They say quitting vaping will be more difficult than the cigs but we shall see. I have been supplementing the vape with an air device. No combustion or vape going into my lungs just air. It seems to help but I still crave the nicotine. This was also set up by my oncology team thru the hospital. My quit date is a week from Wednesday. They tell me to continue with the vape until the quit date and try little mini quits in between a week ago and the quit date.

    Wish me luck as this week seems like a fresh new hell of appointments to deal with.

    We went to the garden on olives last night for dinner, I had some lasagna and a free take home meal of spaghetti and meatsauce. It was delish. Tonight we had the spaghetti meatsauce and some salad.