Author: Bruce McLarty

Sometimes one just won’t do. This morning, I had a second cup of coffee. It was yummy and hit the spot. The simplest things that can make you smile are worth a lifetime. This was today. That second cup brought on some warmth, happiness and a smile. A second cup can wash away your cares, concerns and calm your nerves. My wife went for a self care hair appointment today, so she made me a second cup before she left. I was so grateful for it. I mentioned maybe I wanted one to have with her and she brought it in to surprise me before she ventured out.

Simplicity, good coffee and good company. I don’t need too much right now. Just love and compassion. Typing it out may seem like a lot but it’s really not in the scope of this disease. I try to make life less stressful for myself. My wife does this for me as well. My family does this too. They really have been there for me more so than I ever thought anyone could. I am so grateful for these and other things.

My main stressors right now are my cats. Chip is a brat when it’s dinner time. It’s like he knows we are locked in to dinner and he tries to push buttons like only he could. His newest venture is jumping up on the tv hanging on the wall. He knows it upsets us and he does it every night now. I don’t know why he feels the need to do this, maybe just to get a rise out of us. We clap and yell and it doesn’t effect him period. This is how it goes in my mind, Homer strangling Bart. I’d never but this is where my head goes.

After dinner I like to floss and brush my teeth, then retire to the room with said brat boy, Chip. Once in here he is fine. He doesn’t cry or brat-period. It’s like he’s a perma-toddler and he knows how to get you upset.

Today I watched Formula 1. It was nice to see Redbull on top for quali. Max can really squeeze out the times in a tractor of a car. Seeing the McLaren boys push in a much faster car but not get close is amazing. He can really extract so much out of a slower car. Those papayas are so fast/rocket ships. It can be frustrating seeing them top the time sheets but I am really impressed this season. Sure Redbull hasn’t run away with it like 2 years ago. But that can make for a boring season. There’s a real fight up front between multiple constructors and it’s nice to see. I wish Ferrari was closer but they’ve fallen off quite a bit. It’s nice to see Lewis in Red, odd but nice. Mercedes has come a long way in the past couple years. They have a heck of a driver in young Kimi Antonelli.

We got some prepared foods today at Costco. I “made” (heated up) some meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I also made a nice spring salad with tomatoes and some blue cheese crumbles. That dinner hit the spot. The potatoes gave a twice baked potato vibe. We have been really impressed with the convenience factor and taste of the Costco ready to eat meals. It only took about 45 mins in a convection oven. I use my airfryer oven for everything. This should give us a couple of nights worth of meals. I also got more of their stuffed peppers and a Chicken alfredo baked pasta. Tomorrow I need to make more egg bites for the week for breakfast meal prep. I will be sure to add the cornstarch this time to the mixture. I think it will make them more fluffy and give a more silky custardy texture.

Food is a happy place for me. Probably why I was over 362lbs back in the day. I love cooking and preparing meals. I love seeing the faces of the ones I love enjoying a home prepared meal. It hurts not being able to use my creative cooking mind. It’s a lot to even cut a tomato for a salad anymore. Takes a lot of concentration and closing one eye to focus on the cut of the tomato. One of the first things I did for my wife when we started dating was cook for her. She knew she had a good one at that time. I’ve been cooking since I was about 10 maybe younger. I learned a lot from my Granny and mom. Maybe nutrition wasn’t always top priority back then, but I learned flavor. How to season with authority and how to make great meals. I learned how to put a smile on the face of those who tried my foods. And it felt great! I still enjoy this to this day. The smile and feeback you receive on a home cooked meal can make up for a really bad day.

I’m thinking of what to have for a dessert tonight. My mom made some no bake lemon oat bars… I call them lemon oaties. They’re so good. Heck I may even have a third cup tonight with it. Most likely not though. Something to be said about a nice cold glass of milk with a lemon oatie. Definitely a new fav of mine. I did request some lemon squares. They’re so good. My weight is maintaining it’s number, however at the Cancer treatment center, the scale said I’m 8lbs more than my home scale. Mind you, I’m not fully dressed or carrying my phone, wallet, belt, shoes etc. My normal doctors office just takes my word for it but the Cancer Center requires me to step on that awful scale of theirs. It makes me so mad. My bloodpressure spikes after I see the number there. I worked hard on my weight to get to this point. I am stuck on my numbers. I’m 199lbs, not 208lbs. Yeah it upsets me seeing that. I know it’s not bad but it still gets to me. My wife was telling a coworker about it and she chuckled about me getting upset about that number and not the actual cancer.

Today was a good day. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, bratty cats and a loving wife and family. Find the little things that make you smile. It makes a huge difference in your day to day life. Especially with a life like mine now. Smile and be thankful for everything you have and can still do. I know I am.

Thank you for stopping by
~Bruce

So I met with the Neuro Oncologist today, Dr. P.

She said the preliminary pathology report shows no sign of growth, no migration, no mutation, no necrosis. Low grade 2 glioma. We’ll take it doc! This is good news to me. I was thinking it was worse than what it was. The tumor does not light up with contrast. I suppose that is good also. We are waiting on the rest of the pathology to confirm all this and get treatment scheduled. I’m happy. My Neuro Surgeon wants to see me in 3 months for a recheck. Sutures were removed. I’m gaining strength back slowly. The nurses were all smiles today when doing the strength tests in the office. Dr P was happy as well. May start a headache med soon to combat the pains I get in the morning and night. Tapering the steroid as planned this weekend. I will have another MRI soon to show more. But all in all it was a great day at the cancer center. I picked up my rx’s at the pharmacy today. Had I known one of them was over the counter, I would have ordered it already. Oh well, it’ll be here tomorrow.

So let’s get in to last night. My phone rings at 9:15pm. Normally I wouldn’t answer but I recognized the number as one of my Physical Therapists. I was intrigued as to why they’d be calling so late. I answer and ask what’s going on. He then tells me that my appointment was moved to today, Friday. I said well that would have been nice to know 7 hours ago when the appointment was scheduled. He said oh I must not have called… No guy, you didn’t and I’m not gonna wait around for it. Also, wouldn’t it be nice to let a patient know that they were bumped/cancelled instead of me waiting for a non existent appointment. Rude. Not too happy about being ghosted like that. That’s twice, the Occupational Therapist never called or showed for Wednesday’s appointment. Now you, the PT never called or showed for Thursday’s appointment. I understand we patients may not be as mobile but guess what, we have lives too. Maybe a small courtesy would be to let your patient know you would not be making the scheduled appointment. I sure hope your company isn’t charging my insurance for appointments YOU don’t keep. Now I have an appointment scheduled for PT today between 2pm-4pm. We will see if he shows. I hate waiting and I hate being ghosted.

All in all it was a good day so far. Had lunch, and a snack. Did some work this afternoon, clued in my assistant to the good news. Told the family the good news. I had to come on early and write about the findings. I may write more later after the PT appointment. I may not. Depends on my mood. I’m tired from the long morning.

I’m so happy to share this with you all. It’s been a long few months and I know I’m just at the beginning. But here’s to prayer and positivity. Keep it up! It works. Stay focused, one day at a time. Let go and Let God do his work. Keep that positive mind set. It helps more than you know. It helps all around you stay focused as well. Let’s Go!

Thank you for stopping by,

Bruce

Breafast, coffee, kitties
I love those mornings. Get up, use the restroom, brush teeth. Get breakfast prepared. I’ll make it all and my wife helps me bring it in to my sitting room. Breakfast was egg bites, a banana and some dry cereal with a coffee. I just don’t want to make a mess while attempting to walk from the kitchen to my area. Some zero sugar hazelnut cream in the coffee hits the spot. I have been loving the frosted flake glazed donut cereal, no milk just dry. It’s delicious. Right now I have some regular frosted flakes but it’s not as good lol. Anyway, that was all for the morning. I started around 5am. Eat around 5:30am. Early but it gets me up and I can ease into my morning and not bother the wife to help too much. I get enough rest throughout the night. We go to bed by 10:30 asleep by 11:30pm. If I’m tired during the day I just take a small nap here and there. Most days I don’t but a good nap is wonderful.

I did some work remotely today. More of the same, ordering and excel work. I got a small Instacart order today. Put that away. I got more bananas and a few fresh veggies and fruit. I need some rso capsules to help me sleep, going to have to get that with my rx’s tomorrow. Finally my pharmacy texted me my scripts were ready. I’m glad to have that done with.

Lunch was good, I had a PB&J sugar free of course, and crunchy peanut butter. My fav. I had a few chips with it and some water. Gotta stay hydrated. That’s one thing I love is ice cold water. The colder the better. I wonder why my teeth are sensitive to cold lately.

Physical Therapy was supposed to come today but made no attempt to contact or come by. I just was like whatever, I’ll do my own exercises around the room. Tomorrow I will call the company to find out what is going on, that’s two separate appointments this week that were not kept on their end, Occupational and Physical.

Sometimes I like to take a couple of Werther’s hard candies to bed with me and have them over night. My wife laughs when she hears me crunching them late at night. The sound of her laugh makes me giggle as well.

This morning while she was getting ready, I was having breakfast. She went looking for Chip he was no where to be found. Usually Chip stays in his room overnight. He’s not allowed in our bedroom. He’s too inquisitive and gets himself into too much trouble left to his own devices. So she takes care of my needs in the morning and she must have left the bedroom door cracked. Well he slinked in like a ninja and was exploring where he shouldn’t be. I heard her groan and say Chippy! I chuckled at the thought of it. I knew he was up to no good in there. I said well it’s not all his fault, you just gotta make sure you close the doors. Normally that is the case but he is fast and quiet. He will exploit any kind of anything if you let him. He’s a conniving boy.

I’m getting hungry. Tonight we have dinner from my mom, pork chops and dressing. I’ll make another spinach salad with it so our tomatoes don’t go bad. I love a nice salad with dinner. When I’m feeling up to it I like to make my homemade croutons which I have dubbed Brutons. They’re soooo good.

So another slow day, uneventful. I don’t mind them. Easy to stay positive that way. Tomorrow I have my Neuro Oncology appt at 8:00 am and then the Neuro Surgeon at 9:40 am. Same campus/facility. I’ll let you all know how that goes and hopefully will have some treatment/pathology news. The waiting game is so hard. I just want to have an idea of what my new normal is going to be like. I hate not knowing anything. Not having answers to questions people ask etc. I like to have information at my ready. I’m not used to waiting on others for my life etc. Thank you for stopping by. I do appreciate it so much. I love the feedback. Let’s make a deal, I’ll continue positivity and you continue reading. Love you all even internet strangers.

Bruce

Today was good. My mom came up and hungout today. She brought a couple of meals for us so we wouldn’t have to cook. I can’t wait to try them. I got up early as I do, had breakfast and coffee. Started my morning. Watched the news and then some old shows.

Lunch was good with mom, I had some teriyaki chicken. All protein, no points on my WW app. Had a snack of some peanut butter crackers. No cookies today. My weight is the same. I tried sending over my RX refill request again for my stool softeners but the drs aren’t sending it through to my pharmacy. Idk what’s up with that. It’s not like it’s a narcotic, it just helps me poo. Come on y’all. Send it through.

The occupational therapist never called last night to confirm a time for today. This is two weeks now. I sure hope you aren’t billing my insurance for appointments you don’t keep. That would upset me. I bathed and shaved when I figured she wasn’t coming.

I received a cross body bag from Amazon today. Better than a fanny pack. It seems nice to carry things to appointments instead of a bag or filling my pockets with things. I’ll likely use this Friday for my next appointment with the Neuro Oncologist and the Neuro Surgeon.

I read my MRI report on my patient portal today. No mass in the spine or spread from the tumor. That’s good news. I’ll take any win I can get right now.

I dozed off when mom was here. She said I was snoring so loud lol. She said I got it from her haha. She then had to leave to pick up my nephew from school. I told her to let me know she got there safe because it’s over an hour away. I worry when my family leaves, be it my wife, mother or others. I just want to know they get safely to their destinations.

So a lot of hurry up and wait again today. For what though? Not too much I’d say. I was hoping the OT would come through but that didn’t happen. Tomorrow I’m supposed to have Physical Therapy come out and do more exercises. We’ll see if they show up. Same company as the OT but this guy comes through fine and keeps appointments/heck he even tries to come early if there are cancellations. The OT on the other hand, goodness.

Now I’m just waiting for my wife to get home so we can have dinner and relax from the day. I’m getting around the house easier the last couple days. I’m still on my cane as it helps me with balance but I am finding it easier as the days go on. My vision hasn’t improved too much. A little bit but not enough to not have the patch. Sometimes I take off the patch to see how I can see. Still double but not like last week.

Chip was in and out checking on me today. After mom left he inspected where she sat and sniffed around. He climbed on me and got his rubs in. He licked my leg after my bath. Pancake kept his distance from the hall. He watched over us but never really came in the room except to use the litter robot. Then promptly left. He is such a brat to me at times. I wouldn’t change it for anything.

We’ve been debating on doing a bath refit to make it easier for me to get in and out of the shower as a tub is not too safe at the moment. I keep seeing all kinds of ads for it on my FB and on my TV. It’s like the algorithm knows what I want done.

I’m so far behind on podcasts. This was something I enjoyed prior to my diagnosis. I feel like I won’t be able to climb out of the podcast deficit hole. Too far behind on episodes of my favs. Oh well. I’ll just pick and choose which ones to listen to.

I need some bananas. I have two left. We will be out tomorrow. These are small things I know, but I like to have a bunch of them around so I don’t have to worry about little things like a banana. I love having a banana with breakfast. I’ll just order them on Costco or something.

Not a really eventful day today. I don’t mind slow days. They just drag on. I miss my regular days, work, home, cooking etc. Prior to this, on Wednesdays, I would deliver goods to our sister store in another town. Now I’m not.

Have a good night friends, thank you for stopping by.

This morning started out like all other mornings with an exception, breakfast and then get ready for a long drive to an MRI. I had some egg bites, cup of coffee and then got ready for the MRI

It was a little over an hour drive south with traffic and all. We made it on time with time to spare. They checked me in and got an IV ready for the contrast dye. The MRI was to take about 90 mins. This was the longest scan I’ve ever had. The tech asked me about what music I’d like to listen to. But idk what’s up with these techs. Each time I’ve had an MRI lately they don’t play the music. I chose classic rock. I just closed my eyes and relaxed to the banging and whirring sounds of the MRI. Luckily I’m not claustrophobic and can lay still. I closed my eyes and nodded off to some distant dream land. About 15 mins left and they pull me out for the contrast dye. Finally I can ask about the music. It made no difference at this point as the scan was nearly done. But it was nice to hear something other than the MRI sounds.

I got the dye injected and the rest of the scan commenced. Finished that up and pulled me out. The tech who put my clothes in the locker told me the code to it but I felt like Morty Seinfeld at the dr. I couldn’t open it and thought “My Wallets gone! My wallets gone!” It wasn’t gone I just couldn’t open it with the code she gave me. So the tech who ran the MRI went and got a mastercode to unlock and retrieve my clothes. I got dressed and we left. My wife, mother in law and father in law accompanied me to the scan today. We went thru the chicken drive thru for lunch and brought it home. It was delicious. Chicken sandwich and fries. My fav.

We ate when we got home. I did some work and relaxed this afternoon. I am exhausted from the day. I didn’t think it was going to be such a long scan. That was nuts. I know I’m only at the beginning of this journey and haven’t even started treatment yet but goodness what a day.

Isn’t it funny how when you’re heading somewhere it always takes longer to get there initially than driving home. It seemed like a half hour difference between the two drives. I miss driving, but I know it’s not safe at the moment for me to drive. I don’t mind being a passenger but I miss my driving.

Right now Pancake is howling at his grandma in the kitchen. He can be such a brat with his grandparents. Chippy just looks at him like he’s an idiot, which he is at times. Some wires must be crossed in his furry little brain. I have to clap and yell to change his thought patterns. Not great for me but I have to otherwise he bites. I can’t stand him at times but I love him. All of this madness because he’s either hungry or has to go to the bathroom. He knows where his food is, where his litterbox is. Why does he do these bratty things? Who knows? It’s not like they listen anyway.

If I didn’t have this madness with these Bengal brats idk what I’d do with myself. I’ve told my wife in the future no more Bengals, just regular cats. I wouldn’t trade them for the world but Bengals can be such jerks at times. They’re not the cuddliest boys but they make up for it with their cuteness and love. It’s a weird love. Very intense but very bratty.

Yesterday I woke up from a dream. I don’t usually remember them at all. But this was a silly weird dream. I dreamt I was bobbing in a giant cup of warm hazelnut coffee. My fav. It was pleasant and I could smell the coffee and the zero sugar hazelnut creamer. It was nice and cozy. I woke up and chuckled. I told my wife about it and she said I was silly. I’d love a cup now.

My wife is on her way home from work. I’m starting to get hungry for dinner. The steroid makes me so hungry. I feel like George Constanza’s mother in the hospital in The Contest episode, Georgie I’m hunnnnnngrrryyyyy. If you can’t tell Seinfeld is one of my fav shows. I can always watch and quote it word for word. I have seen them probably 100x each but it still makes me laugh like the first time I’ve ever seen them. Greatest show ever written.

Tomorrow I have Occupational Therapy and no other appointments. My mom is going to come up in the morning. She made us a few dinners to have the next few nights. It’s nice to not have to worry about preparing meals. Especially when the wife works so far away and she comes home to tend to me. It just makes life a whole lot simpler. Tonight we will have some ready made chicken slices and beans. Maybe a tomato salad with it. I haven’t decided just yet. I had a couple of werthers sugar free caramel drops this afternoon. I love those litte bites of sweet goodness. I like to savor them then CRUNCH.

I took my sink bath this afternoon. I’m still not too sure of myself getting in the shower even with the transfer bench. This is doing the job fine. I was worried I was a bit smelly but it was just me in my head. I put on some deodorant and felt clean as a whistle. I bathe daily and shave. Cleanliness is very important to me. I hate odors. I also enjoy a nice cologne here and there, but I haven’t put any on as of yet. The PT yesterday had a bit of a funk to him and I shook his hand when the exercises were over. That handshake didn’t sit too well with me so I bathed after. I didn’t feel so bad when I had to fart lol, that guy stunk.

Enjoy your night friends and family, God first everything else second.

I don’t really have much to report today. I did some reorders for work, spoke with my boss and assistant. Not too busy today. I had Physical Therapy. Did some more exercises to strengthen. I have an MRI of my spine tomorrow morning. They say scanxiety is a thing and it is. I’m not sure why they want to see my spine, maybe to see if the tumor is spreading south of the stem, but I will just go with the flow.

I had a delicious turkey sandwich today with some chips and queso. Kind of a boring day, but I will take it. Boring non eventful days are mundane but have their place in life. Keeps me grounded. I’m thankful I wasn’t overwhelmed with appointments or anything of the like. I took a nap this afternoon after PT. I was exhausted.

The double vision seems to be slowly subsiding. Instead of seeing two tv’s stacked on top of each other, I just see
1 1/3 when I don’t wear the patch. My unsteadiness is still there. I’m hoping it will go away soon or get back to pre-biopsy status. I could manage that much easier than now. What’s weird now is over the past couple days, my teeth are much more sensitive to cold temps with icy drinks etc.

Chip was a brat today, each time the litter robot cycles, he likes to investigate it and smack the waste that falls throught the hole. Sometimes I can’t stand him. He doesn’t listen. What cat really does? He has the most selective hearing. I gently nudge him with the cane to get him away from interrupting the litter cycle. It’s annoying.

Pancake stayed away for the most part. He checked on me a couple of times. Usually, he eats all of his brother’s food from the dish, but not today. He won’t eat from a bowl like Chip’s if it is where his goes, He likes his baby bowl on his lilypad tray. We have tried to make him a new dish like Chip’s but he refuses to eat it unless it’s his brother’s bowl. Such weird beasts.

I dropped a couple things between the couch cushion. That annoyed me to no end. Mainly because I can’t get down on the floor to retrieve things just yet. So I asked my wife to get them. I hate asking for things but she is such a great help.

I requested a couple of meds refilled through my patient portal on my app for the treatment center. It was easy but navigating the request was a pain in the butt because they want you to select which doc ordered the meds and the ordering doctor wasn’t selectable on the portal. Dumb. So I sent them through to my oncologist. Hopefully she will fill them. Mainly my stool softener, I took the last one this morning.

The egg bites I made were amazing, however I forgot to add the cornstarch to the mixture. I think that will help with the texture of the bites themselves. The flavor was amazing. Normally the 2 bites from Costco are 7 points on my Weight Watcher tracking app. According to this recipe I can have 3 for 3 points. More protein, less fat. I ate some cookies today. Probably shouldn’t have. I feel like a chunk doggin. I weighed myself this afternoon and was still 198lbs. Damn those hospital scales, I know my weight.

Tonight we finished the stuffed peppers. They were as delicious as I reported before. I made a spinach salad to go with it. I bathed early so I didn’t have to after dinner. Got that out of the way. Now I can relax with my bratty baby Chip. Again thank you for stopping by to read about my day.

Bruce

Today started like many others, breakfast, Instacart from the grocery store. But we had company! My wife’s friend and another lovely soul came by. We sat and talked for a bit. We shared our stories, how life has been treating us. This new diagnosis talk and more. I gained a new friend today. Such wonderful visits with friends. I cherish these interactions so much. Such love and admiration on both sides. I could see myself fading after a bit and we said our goodbyes. It was really a lovely time.

This afternoon, my brother in law and sister in law came by before their cruise this week. It was so nice to catch up with them. He made a few attempts this week to stop by but each time I had therapy here and he didn’t want to overstep. I respect that. I caught them up on my upcoming week and how I’ve been doing here recovering from the biopsy. It’s been challenging this week but I am getting through it each day. One day at a time. My niece and her boyfriend also stopped by for a visit. So nice to see such young love.

I made the egg bites with some help from my fav sous chef, my wife. I taught her the proper way to cut an onion for her breakfast this week. She sauteed it with some mushrooms for some scrambled eggs. So, the egg bites were delish. I made enough for 4-5 days or so. The leftover egg mixture I gave to the wife for her scrambles. I can’t wait to have them for breakfast. Super easy recipe. I added some blended nonfat cottage cheese to boost up the protein content, it made it so smooth and silky.

I was a little wobbly cooking and almost fell today a couple times but that was from the tiredness I feel. Maybe I was trying to do too much at once and not trusting myself or my legs… You are not invincible, remember that dummy. I tell myself that daily. We had leftover Costco stuffed peppers and green beans. Yum!

My father in law helped me so much today. I’m so grateful for the help I received. I can’t thank him enough. He dismantled a few items I ordered that were not so safe for me to use per the Occupational Therapist. We repackaged them for return to Amazon. He then assembled a new shower transfer bench for my use in the bathroom as well as a Toilet bar system to ease me getting up off the loo.

I also received some slip in Skechers today. They aren’t ugly but they sure aren’t my dunks or skate shoes. I’ll likely wear them around tomorrow, but I love bare feet around the house. It’s not safe but that is my normal comfort level here.

Time to bathe and then relax with my kitties. Thank you for stopping by to check on me. I appreciate knowing you all read this experience I share. Faith, love and positivity drive me.

Today was injection day for Chip. He has a luxating patella. I sent him off with his human mom and grandma as I can’t leave or get around too well at this time. He cried on the way so I’m told. Normally he does fine in the Jeep, but his mommy took her car today. I suppose he’s a bit of a car snob. He also went in his brothers soft carrier rather than his hard shell carrier. He’s very regimented and used to a certain way of life. With this new normal we are all navigating, I am sure he wasn’t feeling up to his normal self venturing out today, especially not having daddy by his side.

While the girls were out I just relaxed and did some chair exercises. Squeezing my glutes, up downs, walking around my room etc. Just some minor strenghtening. I saw an advert for some skecher slip ins grippy shoes. They should arrive tomorrow. They look like old man shoes but look comfy and should allow me to get around a bit safer. My eyes are coming back to normal, still seeing double but they aren’t trailing off like they were the last week. It’s been a week since my biopsy and I am still dealing with the after effects of it. More vertigo, more double vision. The eye patch is definitely helping with the dilopia. But it makes my right eye so tired.

Not much else to report today. I made some Costco stuffed peppers and fresh green beans for dinner, that was yummy. We will have some leftovers the next couple days from that meal. It makes life simple not having to prepare too much and it was lower points on my WW app. Although I do miss my cooking. Tomorrow I will attempt and nail the egg bites. I watched a few TikTok videos on recipes for them today. My stepson checked in on me today via facetime. It’s always nice to chat with him. I was very tired during the call though. I get so exhausted lately just doing small things. I remind myself I am not invincible and just take my time with things. I have such a great support system here that it makes it so easy to stay focused on the day, one day at a time.

Thank you for taking the time to read about my day. I appreciate it so much. Continued love and prayers are always welcomed.

Today I got up around 5:30am and I started my morning with some breakfast and coffee. I read some daily devotion this morning. It was a good start to my day.

It’s my mom’s bday today so she came up and hung out for a bit til the PT got here this afternoon. Very nice morning. We had lunch and conversed a bit. My wife FaceTimed from work to send her some birthday well wishes. Mom helped me reset my internet as we have had connectivity issues with slow speeds etc. Technology can be so annoying when it doesn’t work as you need it to.

I worked a bit with some invoices as usual. I spoke with my assistant a bit to get a rundown of how things are going at the store during my remote absence. Biz is slow like anywhere these days. Tarriffs- yuck.

PT came around 3:15 and was here for about half an hour. He gave me more seated and standing exercises to gain my balance and strengthen my legs. The boozy woozies are killing me. The pirate patch helps so much. I’m so thankful I got this under some control and I’m not seeing double as bad. Long as I wear the patch I have normal vision.

The cats were very inquisitive as to who this PT was and what he was doing to their daddy. Pancake, the big one, licked his arm and stayed close by while I did some kitchen exercises.

Once the PT left Chippy, my youngest cat, was all over me. Chip was trying to login to the guys work laptop but couldn’t crack the code. He’s not that tech savvy. But he definitely left his mark lol. The things we take for granted walking, seeing straight, trivial things. I wish I could go back and be normal again. I’m navigating this new normal and excelling at it. These small exercises really knock me out.

Last night I chatted with a friend of my wife’s on messenger. She told me some of her struggles battling cancer and gave some pointers about keeping faith and positivity up. Family, faith and love keeps you going and I am finding this is so true. I often tell those close to me how I appreciate everything that is done for me and how I feel more of a closenesss with them. I hope I don’t sound like a broken record to those who hear me say these things. It’s so easy to take people and things for granted. Don’t fall in that hole. It’s a deep and dark place to be.

I think I’m going to discontinue the pain meds as I’m not feeling any pain any longer. I don’t want to become dependent on them and I worry about constipation while taking them. Next week I have an MRI scheduled Tuesday morning and two PT appts, 1 OT appt and Friday next week will have a Dr P Neuro Oncology appt followed by my post biopsy Dr L Neuro Surgeon appt to hopefully remove my stitches. Maybe the pathology report will be back by then so I can start my chemo and radiation therapy soon.

Mom is going to make a meal for us next week sometime. She said she’d surprise me with it one day next week. It helps a lot when I don’t have to worry about what to prepare or have prepared for me. I used to be the main cook for myself and my wife. This weekend I will dig into meal prep for breakfast as stated in yesterday’s post. I’m excited to try a new recipe. Like I said, it’s little things like this that keep me going. I love cooking and being in the kitchen, it’s a happy place for me. I can’t stand not being my normal creative self in the kitchen.

Tomorrow is injection day for Chip, he has a luxating patella. I sure hope his fav vet tech is there tomorrow because he responds so well to her. He has his favs as we all do. Plus I think she likes seeing him on his injection day. I’m not sure how much the shots help him because he runs through the house like a banshee whether he has it or not. The knee doesn’t really bother him as much as it does us seeing it pop out. He acts like it doesn’t effect him at all. He goes on his wheel as fast as he can and runs away from it. But what do I know, I’m no veteranarian. Thankfully the pet insurance helps out with the cost of the injection and the daily supplement and monthly meds he takes.

I often remind myself to take it easy and slow. Nothing is a race anymore and I won’t get anywhere any faster forcing myself to rush around plus it’s not all that safe.

The steroids are no joke. It makes me so hungry. I don’t want to gain weight but I can see/feel myself gain a few lbs.

I need to finish the book I started. I may read til my wife gets home.

Another fine day today. Tonight is Friday night, so chicken sandwiches and fries! (maybe I should have a salad instead but where’s the fun in that?) I love my Friday night cheat night meal.

This morning I got up early as to not make my wife late for work again. She helps me so much in the morning before leaving for work. It’s a process for both of us. I had my usual breakfast, 2 egg bites, a banana and some coffee. It was delicious. I watch the news then on to my morning nostalgia. Andy Griffith show and MASH followed by some work and then Bonanza. I really enjoy these old shows. It gives me a sense of peace.

A call came in and it was one of my physical therapists. He called to see if he could head over and I agreed it was a good time to come. He gave me some home exercises to do to strengthen and vision and my legs etc. Leg lifts, stand up, sit down, gain balance. Leg extensions, kick outs to the side. More and more. Use the kitchen island and sink to maintain balance and grasp if I feel wobbly. To a “normal person” these exercises are easy. To someone in my position it was difficult and exhausting. I nailed it. He said I was doing great and had a great outlook on this new normal.

I’m trying my best to maintain that positive mindset and not feel down. I’ve been trying to do most things for myself. Certain things and limitations I find are not ideal to do on my own. I accept it and allow for help to be given. It can be hard just to walk with a cane and carry things with the other hand especially battling with the balance issues.

Today I got my lunch out of the fridge which my wife prepared for me last night, a delicious pb&j, on my own and carried it into my tv/cat room. Small things I know, but it made me feel accomplished to do it on my own. I had a snack after lunch a sugar free candy and some werthers. I FaceTimed with my mother a bit today. She told me she was going to work in her garden. That sounded fun to me.

I’ve recently made myself a Pirate, Arrrrgh! The eye patch helps so much with the dilopia, double visions. Hopefully this will dissipate soon and I won’t need the patch, not that I mind wearing it. Chippy, my youngest bengal cat still gives me a stink eye look when he sees me wearing a patch over my eye. He doesn’t trust it. I can only imagine him thinking “that’s not my daddy.” Every time I go into the kitchen the older Bengal, Pancake, swarms me for pets and goes for my cane to knock it down by rubbing his face on it and “kissing” it. I tell them to be careful as to not knock me over or get in my way. They just want their normal reality back. I can’t blame them, I do too.

I found 3 Amigos on tv this afternoon and took a small nap “watching” it. I received a Walmart delivery today I need to put together. A shower transfer bench. I’ll work on that in a bit. Bathing is time consuming. I use Scrubbz no rinse cleaning cloths and use some baby shampoo on my head for the incision site. No issues since the biopsy other than the dilopia and the increased balance issues. Mental has not been affected, thank God. I placed a small Instacart order and my mother in law helped me bring it in and put it away. Just a few things to get me through the week. I’m going to start making my own egg bites this weekend so I can meal prep and save money instead of buying the ready made ones. I found a good recipe knock off on TikTok for the Costco version I enjoy. I can make them myself or with help for pennies on the dollar compared to buying them ready made. Why not?

All in all another good day. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read about mine. I appreciate you all and find this blog is such a good outlet for me to get things out and explain what’s happening with me.